I know I'm a Llama-Aholic (LA) when:
1. Can you say 'sheath' in public without blushing? 2. Do you drive a truck with some type of towing package and/or dual rear wheel when everyone else you know drives a real car? 3. Does every word I type that begins with an "L" ends up "LL". 4. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, sales, clinics, and seminars when everyone else goes on cruises? 5. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make a doctor leave in disgust? 6. Do you consider formal wear clean jeans and freshly scraped boots? 7. Does the inside of your home look like your interior decorator is 'Sullivan Show Supply'? 8. Do you often have barn boots on your front porch? 9. Is your mail made up primarily of breed magazines and sale catalogs? 10. Does your shirt pockets often contain bits of feed, hay, and empty syringe covers? 11. Do you worry about paying your monthly feed bill before you think of paying your electric bill? 12. When you meet a person, do you ask how many llamas they have, and pity them if the answer is none? 13. Do you remember the name of a great-great-great grandsire when you can't remember your own great grandfather's name? 14. Is your primary dream in life to breed the perfect llama? 15. Do you find non-llama people boring? 16. Is 99% of your e-mail about llamas? 17. Do you have a collection of cards and curry combs even larger than your collection of llamas? 18. Do you know more than five people this list fits exactly? 19. Do you have pictures in your wallet of your llamas? 20. Whenever I meet someone with a neat name, I automatically ask if they would mind if I use their name when my new crias are born. 21. Are 90% of the names on your speed dial are llama owners. 22. Are 90% of the address in your email are llama owners. 23. Do you carry your vets office & home phone number in your pocket. 24. Do you have emergency stick on your window says "Llamas on board". 25. The sign over the door says "Spit Happens". 26. When the dinner bell rings, guess who shows up?
If you answered YES to three of these questions, you are in pretty good shape. You will lead a long, dull life, and never call your mother and tell her "I'm in the hospital, but everything is fine! The llamas are OK If you answered YES to 10, you are in serious trouble. Give in gracefully, and become a member of Llama-Aholics Anonymous now... You will qualify eventually anyway. If you answered YES to 15 or more, you are incurable. My advice to those who, like me, are incurable is as follows.....Sit back, smile, read your email, and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and better llama, and it will never be boring!